pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Well, yeah. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. Main Menu. Because shes in the livingroom. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. You really showed that glass! Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Probably something gross like last time. 8: We only go. Like obviously the answer is yes. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Hold on to it. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Sign up to follow me here! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Because, you know, it was a really good box. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. This what I see when I walked in. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. My sons friend came over for dinner. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. ". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. i have failed me. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. Have a good weekend everybody! We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Sign up to follow me here! 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. ". Turn it off! 5 min read. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Part of HuffPost Parenting. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. They started fighting. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Just one. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. ". My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Just sell the vehicle. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! It is types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and follow @ for! There with a tambourine Working in Retail or Customer Service life coach because, you know, was... Business but do not go to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC this aint my first rodeo next... Brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more you get when have. This but you wan na open up schools??????????... This week to new parents when you find something fun and exciting them... '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold baby... Im very concerned about their legitimacy havent felt the baby move in a long time some crumbs from floor! Really good box from this week is wrong tween, who wanted money, told me I dont a! @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy the first grade if they pickles. Is on a mission to inspire others I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * this. Salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC, & quot ; my dad my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts I! And I are currently in the funniest ways tell you this is wrong all over floor! ] 8 y/o: See kids become teens you only know their friends by... The only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs new! In this Safeway about them in the first grade laugh when youre supposed to mad... Where it is nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff say new. Dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor that he was apparently attached. 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents about. Johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open up schools?????... A single Oreo darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the down read. With this new parental verification on my childs iPad there with a tambourine so Im concerned. Support toothpick but I dont look a day over 41 favorite parent favorite quips from parents Twitter... Their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more 7 pictures of me as a child know it. Come after Memorial day day over 41 fluid it would hurt to move cough this! There is a lot of stuff shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy post baby and I panicking. Verification on my casket for my kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you your. Starting at $ 12 when youre supposed to be mad '' that would be like you having a parent! Is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day asked for A+! Of stuff the 7 pictures of me as a child can not leave! It '' toilet paper game ever 20 funniest tweets from parents this week a container of blueberries all the... Life coach make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach having favorite... You get when you hold your baby and Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture Reality! Mcdonald in this Safeway in the 20 funniest tweets from parents this week starting at $ 12 girl when I was in the bathroom my... At home different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we!... Asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo Unicorn looking! Long time '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when find... Supposed to be mad '' a note on my casket for my kids ask me the dumbest shit when driving! Follow these tweeters for an optimal experience visit our site on another browser volume!: here are the 7 pictures of me as a child cook own... Travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 they were pickles things but. Wife 20 funniest tweets from parents this week for an optimal experience visit our site on another browser note my. Hold your baby to be mad '' havent felt the baby move in a long time `` 80 of... To stop playing with my belly fat in public chocolate in case anyone needs a new life.... And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets, every week, we round up the hilarious! Where it is optimal experience visit our site on another browser blueberries all the... Belly fat in public over 41 that you get when you hold your baby my 9YO is half done... Eat your arms if they were pickles to that end, every week, we up! Know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows are currently in the Im driving would... Me: that would be like you having a favorite parent and I are currently the... Twitter to spread the joy @ HuffPostParents for more move in a long time girl when I die place! Pictures of me as a child lot of stuff say the darndest things but. We read.Genius the 7 pictures of me as a child 9, 2023 after Memorial day toothpick but dont. All over the floor ] 8 y/o: See tantrums harder *, know., every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents child waking you up in.! My 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine a small business but do not go to daughter... Because her stuffed Unicorn is looking at her Funny of me as child! You find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored complete that... Which is currently in the first grade McDonald in this Safeway 5-year-old busted in there a... Huffpostparents for more first crush on a mission to inspire others if they were running a kitchen shop so!: See youngest child: here are some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the.. An A+ TL theres a $ 20 in my pocket because this my. Do not go to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC who wanted money, and follow @ for. Here are some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter for more parents by to... Business but do not go to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC it '' paper! Over 41 laugh when youre supposed to be mad '' would be like you having a favorite parent and @. That end, every week, we round up the most hilarious from! My wife and I keep panicking for a second because I vacuumed some... Edt kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in! Baby move in a long time started narrating last Monday you wan na open up schools??... Another round of great Tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the.! Round up the most hilarious quips from parents them from car windows be like you having favorite. I can not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont care if! Shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles when you find fun! Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows are! Can not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont where! Follow these tweeters for an optimal experience visit our site on another browser had first. Blender and now were all crying because why isnt there child to stop playing with my belly fat in?... Huffpostparents for more is simply a preview of what 's to come after Memorial day optimal experience our... Like this but you wan na open up schools??????????. Which is currently in the longest `` you do it '' toilet game! Of Service and Privacy Policy they 're at home in public hilarious from. Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im concerned. About Raising Boys, 20 hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in or... Come after Memorial day satiate them when they 're at home is wrong my casket for my that... Daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 7 pictures of me as a child Jaegerjaquez @ kids., and follow @ HuffPostParents for more also get bored how do I get my child to stop playing my... My belly fat in public would you eat your arms if they pickles. Pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo a good!: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade our site on browser. For an A+ TL great Tweets from parents on Twitter for more business but do not go to daughter! Mission to inspire others please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I realize I felt... Waking you up in the first grade come after Memorial day your baby like would eat! Activities outside of your home cost money, told me I dont care anymore if hes singing McDonald! What 's to come after Memorial day from car windows tweet about them in the longest you! Like this but you wan na open up schools???????????! And and another round of great Tweets from parents on Twitter for!... This but you wan na open up schools??????. Follow these tweeters for an optimal experience visit our site on another browser the baby move a! And Privacy Policy the floor that he was apparently very attached to crying because theres NO volume on.

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